Why does a boy resemble his maternal uncle and a girl resemble her paternal uncle?

When a woman gives birth to a child, the _Oxytocin_ hormone becomes active. It is also called _Love Hormone_ because it creates a feeling of pure love between the mother and the child.

People say about this hormone that it overpowers the intensity of pain, otherwise the pain of giving birth would prevent a woman from having intercourse again.

Islamic scholars have said:

In the _pain of childbirth_, a woman comes close to death and makes a firm intention that she will never have intercourse again, so that she can avoid the pain of giving birth, but Allah, Lord of Honour, has placed more desire in her than in a man, so she again indulges in intercourse.

The Holy Prophet, Leader of the World, peace and blessings be upon him, said:

> Fud-dilat al-mar'atu ala ar-rajuli bi tis'atin wa tis'eena juz'an min al-lazzati wa lakin Allaha Ta'ala alqa alaihinna al-hayaa

Woman has been given ninety-nine times more pleasure/desire than man, but Allah Almighty has cast a veil of modesty over them.

"Kanz al-Ummal Vol 16 Page 345"

It is the system of nature that in giving birth, a woman sees death and makes firm intentions to abstain from intercourse in future, but the _love hormone_ makes her slowly forget that pain and the _ninety-nine times more desire than man_ brings her close to man again, and modesty prevents her from going near a strange man.

There is a veil of modesty on a woman and she removes it only in front of her husband.

The Holy Quran says:

> Hunna libasun lakum wa antum libasun lahunna

They (women) are your garment and you (men) are their garment.

A woman wears the garment of modesty, when she takes it off she becomes unchaste, and a man wears the garment of honour, when he takes it off he becomes shameless.

A woman has a desire to show herself.

The more she exposes in front of a non-mahram, the more she actually wants to show herself.

Those who observe _sharia veil_ do not even expose their hair because they do not want to show anything to a non-mahram.

In short, a woman has intercourse only when she removes the veil of modesty, whether she removes it in front of her husband or in front of a stranger.

_Even after removing the veil in front of her husband, sometimes due to memory of labour pain or some other reason, if her desire becomes less, then if she has intercourse in that condition, a boy is born._

It was famous among the ancient Arabs that when the man's semen dominates and the woman's fluid is dominated, a boy is born.

For this reason they would frighten and intimidate the woman and have intercourse with her in that same state, so a boy would be born.

Because in case of lack of inclination, the woman's fluid is dominated and the man's semen is dominant, thus a boy is born.

In the blessed hadith of _Muslim Sharif_ it is:

> Iza ala ma'u ar-rajuli ma'a al-mar'ati ash-baha a'mamahu wa iza ala ma'u al-mar'ati ma'a ar-rajuli ash-baha akhwalahu

When the man's fluid dominates the woman's fluid, the child resembles his paternal uncles.

And when the woman's fluid dominates the man's fluid, the child will resemble his maternal uncles.

In another blessed hadith of _Muslim Sharif_ it is:

> Ma'u ar-rajuli abyadu wa ma'u al-mar'ati asfaru fa iza ijtama'a fa ala maniyyu ar-rajuli maniyya al-mar'ati azkara bi izni Allahi wa iza ala maniyyu al-mar'ati maniyya ar-rajuli annasa bi izni Allahi

The man's fluid is white and the woman's fluid is yellow.

So when both fluids gather, if the man's semen dominates the woman's semen, then by the permission of Allah a boy is born.

And when the woman's fluid dominates the man's fluid, then by the permission of Allah a girl is born.

The words of one narration are like this:

> Iza sabaqa ma'u ar-rajuli ma'a al-mar'ati azkara wa iza sabaqa ma'u al-mar'ati ma'a ar-rajuli annasa

When the man's fluid precedes the woman's fluid, it makes it a boy.

And when the woman's fluid precedes the man's fluid, it makes it a girl.

Apparently it seems to be a contradiction that if the man's semen dominated, then how did the boy come to resemble his maternal uncles? Whereas in the other narration it is said that if the woman's fluid dominates, a girl is born.

How did it happen here that the man's fluid dominated so a boy was born, and the woman's fluid dominated so the boy resembled his maternal uncles?

The answer to this is given by _Imam Abu Bakr Ibn al-Arabi_ in Ahkam al-Quran, saying:

Here four cases are formed:

(1) The boy resembles his paternal uncle

(2) The girl resembles her maternal uncle

(3) The boy resembles his maternal uncle

(4) The girl resembles her paternal uncle

_Sabaqa_ means the fluid coming out first and _Ghalaba_ means being abundant in quantity.

{1} When the man's fluid comes out first and the woman's comes out later and is less than the man's, then it will be a boy and he will resemble his paternal uncle because the components of that family are more.

{2} If the woman's fluid comes out first and the man's comes out later and the man's fluid is less, then a girl will be born and she will resemble her maternal uncles.

It will be a girl because the woman's fluid came out first.

And she will resemble her maternal uncles because the woman's fluid was more.

{3} If the man's fluid comes out first and the woman's comes out later but the woman's fluid is more, then it will be a boy and he will resemble his maternal uncles.

It will be a boy because the man's fluid came out first and it will resemble his maternal uncles because the woman's fluid was abundant.

{4} If the woman's fluid comes out first and the man's comes out later but the man's fluid is more, then a girl will be born but she will resemble her paternal uncle.

"Ahkam al-Quran by Ibn al-Arabi Vol 4 Page 97"

Subhan Allah al-Azeem wa bi hamdihi

The Arabs considered it bad for a boy to resemble his maternal uncle.

Perhaps for the reason that why did the woman's fluid dominate the man's fluid.

However, the love of children makes the mother forget the pains of _labour_, but in old age, the child who leaves his mother when his wife comes, gives her more pain than the pain of childbirth.

A mother loves you so much that she sees death and still lives for you, and if you force that same mother to live a life worse than death, then your own children will do the same to you.

Respected Rehan Sahab